MMFF 2014

Five Reasons Why the Metro Manila Film Festival Will Probably Suck Again This Year

So the Metro Manila Development Authority (MMDA) just announced the entries to the upcoming 2014 Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF), and outside of a couple of films, it doesn’t look like this set of movies will be any better than the movies shown in previous MMFFs. Which is terrible and sad and altogether frustrating.

In any case, here are five reasons why we think the MMFF will probably suck again this year.  At least we have the Cinemalaya to look forward to.

1. It is being hosted by an agency known for incompetently handling Metro Manila’s traffic and flooding issues.

Flooding in Metro Manila

Maybe focusing on these problems is a better use of the MMDA’s time? Photo via interaksyon.

I mean seriously, the MMDA? They are barely competent enough to handle road operations, our crazy traffic, and dangerous deadly floods. Why are we allowing them to choose the films that will be shown in what is this country’s most popular film festival? Those dancing cops, as entertaining as they were, will not suddenly transform that agency into capable arbiters of taste. The last Metro Manila Film Festivals, in fact, just proved the exact opposite.

2. We get to watch Kris Aquino “act”.

Kris Aquino Interview

This is a photo of Kris Aquino in her “best role” to date. Photo via Adobo Talk.

The self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media” and popularly-designated “Overacting Talentless Hack” is going to appear in a sequel to the disastrously terrible horror movie Feng Shui. I mean, seriously, the first movie was bad enough, why the hell are people creating a second one?

And guys, seriously, Kris Aquino is about as good an actress as a rock. And with a rock, you at least won’t get a self-absorbed, pretentious twit who goes around embarrassing herself by declaring that she is the “Oprah of the Philippines” to a famous black actor (who is actually friends with the “Oprah of America”), and who pretty much embarrassed the whole country considering who her brother and mother is.

Wait, maybe this is a postmodern horror story and the real horror in this case is that someone  thought Feng Shui was great, Kris Aquino’s acting was terrific, and that making a sequel of this movie is a wonderful idea. Which is equally brilliant and horrifying actually. Hmm.

3. They’re showing a sequel to the advertisement-masquerading-as-a-movie “My Little Bossings”.

My Little Bossings

I actually adore Ryzza Mae Dizon. She’s whip-smart, precocious and endearing. Which is exactly why I think “My Little Bossings” was not a movie she should have made. It is representative of everything that is wrong with mainstream movies in the Philippines: annoying product placements everywhere, disjointed scenes, nonsensical plot, and a filmmaker’s obvious disregard to create anything of quality whatsoever. In fact, it was arguably the single most vilified movie the year it came out.

And now they’re making a sequel. Hurray for Philippine Cinema.

4. They will show a movie called “Bonifacio: Gusto Mo Ba Siyang Makilala?”

boring_lecture

This is exactly how everyone reacted when the MMDA announced that “Bonifacio: Gusto Mo Ba Siyang Makilala?” is going to be part of the MMFF. Photo via Sydeysiderblog.com.

Title pa lang, parang lecture na sa classroom. I mean, I get it, and kudos for trying to push Filipinos to learn more about the hero Andres Bonifacio, but seriously, this sounds more like the title of a Batibot song than a film. Have we run out of people who can make an educational and entertaining movie at the same time? Because to me, this title might as well say “Bonifacio: A Two-Hour Lecture Designed to Bore You to Tears”.

But who knows? Maybe the makers of this film are purposely trying to drive people away from watching this movie, in which case, well-played men and women.

5. Of the eight films that have already been announced as MMFF entries, five are sequels.

YOLO

Sequels aren’t necessarily bad per se, but it would be nice if the MMDA and local movie producers treated the MMFF with more reverence, and used the platform they have been given as a way to produce better and more progressive films. Instead, outside of a random movie or two, we get movies that seem like we’ve seen them before, primarily because we have seen them before, in forms which are only different in the sense that they use another title or set of actors.


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