V: You know, if you really just wanted to be wealthy, you could just marry rich.
C: Yuck, ano ba, I have morals. He has to be hot also.
V: Hahaha. Wow, ganda ng morals mo ha.
Professor A was talking about morality in an Admin Law Class in relation to COMELEC’s initial disqualification of LADLAD as a Party-list Group.
Professor A: Mr. A, is the 2nd Division right in disqualifying Ang LADLAD since homosexuality is immoral based on the Catholic and Muslim religions?
Mr. A: Ma’am I think it is correct since morality should be a basis in crafting laws.
Professor A: Mr. A, but morality is a social construct. So you mean, we should also outlaw premarital sex since it is against the Catholic religion?
Mr. A: Ma’am, I am not that Catholic.
In labor class, the professor was giving a very patriotic speech about Filipino overseas workers.
Prof A: You know, Filipino seamen have landed everywhere! They have landed in the U.S., they have landed in Hong Kong. Filipino seamen have even landed in Europe! Filipinos produce very high quality seamen!
Prof. JJ: Simula nang mauso ang thong marami nang nagbago. Noon para makita mo ang puwet ng babae hahawiin mo muna yung panty niya. Ngayon para makita mo yung panty ng babae hahawiin mo muna yung puwet niya!
Prof. B: So, Mr. A, suppose Ms. N is your hypothetical wife, what will you do?
Mr. A: May I engage in hypothetical marital sex with her?
Prof. B asks Mr. V a question.
Mr V: (panicking) Sir, wait, wait…
Prof. B: How dare you, telling me to wait!
Mr V: (still panicking) Sir, I’m coming, I’m coming!
Prof. B: Mr. V, that’s not the appropriate thing to do right now!
Student gets called for recitation.
Student (who was not really listening in class): Sir!
Atty. C: What happened in the case of Wisconsin v. Yoder?
Student: Uhhmmm… ahh.. uhh.. ah! Sir! It was about the Amish sir!
Atty. C: The Amish?
Student (trying to sound as if he knew the case): Yes sir the Amish!
Atty. C: What about the Amish? Are they people??
Student: Yes sir, in fact, they are Catholic!
Atty. C: Sit down!
Prov. V: What are the two words that binds a man to a woman (referring to “I do”)?
Student: Sir, I’m pregnant?
DR calls a student and discusses the U.S. case of Lawrence v. Texas.
DR: What kind of act were they trying to prevent?
Ms. X: Sir,…
DR: So do you?
Ms. X: Sir?
DR: So do you?
Ms. X: So do me?
People start laughing and clapping.
Atty. SM: Counsel, can you tell us how many prostitutes there are in the Philippines?
Mr. J: Sir, there are 20 million prostitutes in the Philippines.
Atty. SM: TWENTY MILLION?
Mr. J: Oh, oh, I’m sorry sir, I meant 20 Percent!
Atty. B: Mr. B.
Mr. B: Yes sir?
Atty. B: Give me Sweet Lines (referring to the case of Sweet Lines v. Teves).
Mr. B: (To class) Ano raw?
Class: Sweet Lines daw!
Mr. B: Uh… Life is beautiful…
This compilation previously appeared here.
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