It was with a peculiar, and perhaps less than noble, fixation that I read about your crime. A crime which was extraordinarily morbid, and sensational. And I gathered the following details: You were thirteen years old. You stole a .22 caliber pistol. You wrote a suicide letter; short, but it got the message across. You went to SM City Mall, Pampanga. You met your seventeen year old lover in front of the Astrovision store in the mall’s Building 3. You shot him in the head. The bullet lodged in his brain and left him brain dead. You then turned the gun on yourself and pulled the trigger.
This piece was originally featured here. The Manila Survival Guide is re-publishing the article with minor edits.
It was a typical morning. I woke up, late as usual, the sun already near its zenith, its rays streaming through half-open blinds, the day as hot and as humid as it can be. I forgot to turn off the TV. A Discovery channel host was talking about whales, his voice a deep, monotonous drone.
When I was a sophomore in high school, the all girls’ school next to our school decided to hold a dance. My tutor then had a niece named Samantha who was my age, so she asked me if I would want to go with her niece as a date. Except she didn’t say date, she just asked me if I could go.
I thought about it, and concluded that if I wanted to stop being “confused” about my sexuality, I had to start going out with girls. So I said yes.
This piece was originally published here (with the title “Clarity”), and is being re-published in The Manila Survival Guide with minor edits. It was nominated in the 2011 Philippine Blog Awards for “Best Single Post of 2011”.
It had been a few weeks since I last had any contact with Chad. If I’m being honest, I was actually making it a point to avoid any type of communication with him since our relationship was, well, less than perfect at the time. Not that it was ever perfect mind you; in fact, I would have settled for normal if I could. If I had to describe our relationship in one word, I would use “toxic”. It was characterized by passion and unmitigated infatuation, but there was no real substance to ground us. The perils of youth one could say, although that saying assumes only the young are capable of doing stupid things. I have far too many examples of stupid things adults do to disprove that point.